The Written Word

Hi all!
 
             How are you? Doing ok? So this post is going to be about some of my favorite poetry, books, and quotes. Hope you enjoy it! Links for things will be underneath each item.


Poetry:
  I highly enjoy reading poetry which I know many people find a little tedious because they always think of people like Longfellow, Blake, Keats etc but poetry is so much more than those aforementioned great poets. A good rap (no sit down Lil Wheezy not singing the same crap over and over) can be a poem along with a simple haiku or even words that don't rhyme all the time (that was on purpose by the way).
So here are a few to get you into new and interesting poetry and even one by me (not very good but poems are just as good for your soul as hot tea is).

The Tyger by William Blake
http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/172943
The link for you. This poem was one of the first ones that I memorized and it is truly loquacious. Some of the best lines I have ever read. "What the hammer? what the chain, In what furnace was thy brain? What the anvil? what dread grasp, Dare its deadly terrors clasp!" is one of my favorite stanzas (a group of lines forming the basic recurring metrical unit in a poem; a verse.). Read it!

We Real Cool by Gwendolyn Brooks
http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15433
If you can listen to the audio then do it she reads it sublimely. Her voice is great also her explanation of why she wrote it which was basically because she saw some people playing pool...no other hidden meanings at all, crazy I know.

Mother to Son by Langston Hughes
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/mother-to-son/
A good poem about the hard knocks of life.

The Owl and the Pussy-Cat by Edward Lear
http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/171941
A good story poem. A little odd but full of great imagery.

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15717
This poem is one of my favorites. It is about making decisions in life.

The People- Common
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7B2VgRShew
Common is yes a rapper but he does not sing about women and exploiting them but about what is happening in the world around him and the common life. He flows really well.

Same Love by Macklemore
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlVBg7_08n0
This is a really great music video along with the fact that it is more than a song. It is a message about how people feel. That to me is a poem.

Lastly here is mine that I wrote in a difficult time in my life. Hope you enjoyed this list.


The Purpose of Death by Claire

Cry, wail, lament, and mourn

The love you shared, and the fact

You will never see your

Lover,

Soul-mate,

Dearest friend again.

But rejoice, celebrate, and be joyous,

That their soul has left

The weak, sick, form they once inhabited.

They suffered and were in pain.

They cried out to be put out of their miseries

But held a strong face.

They watched the sympathetic faces of the blurring crowd;

But one stood out among the rest.

The true visage of their love

And the sorrow that clouded their eyes.

That sorrowful love made the pain

Better and

Worse.

In those last moments of life they want

That person beside them,

That last look,

That last "I love you,"

And that last image in their eyes,

Burned into their mind is

You.

To them that is the best. most wonderful sight

In the world.

In that moment they know

They have not died in vain.

While you cry after they pass,

They rejoice with the knowledge of seeing

You, one last time and that you are living on.

So be sad for today,

But remember they left you to live

And be happy.

So cry for today,

BUT

Awaken tomorrow with a new purpose,

The purpose of living for your love.

The purpose of Death.

Piece of Me--little bio

Hi all!
 
        I'm sitting here in bed at 3am watching YouTube videos and being sick so I decided it was time for another post. So I am going to let you peer into my life a little since, well, this is a musing and blog (that I hope you take comfort and advice from) and you don't really know me at all so if you could care less about this you can skip to my next blog post which will be tonight since I can't sleep at all.
          I am currently 22, working full-time, and going to school to become a pediatric nurse. My life started out in a small town in Kentucky and then I moved to Texas where I am currently at now. I guess the point of giving you a little background will help you understand why I am making this blog. I had a really great childhood filled with great family vacations and really great memories. I am adopted and so are my siblings. When I was around 11 or 12 my parents decided they wanted to adopt another child. At first I was jealous, which yes seems petty now, but I had been the baby of the family for a while and could not bear the thought of not being doted on. Shellfish, I know. We started the process of adopting, looking for the correct person, making sure they were willing, and started preparing the nursery. The person we found as a birth-mother was immature in so many ways although she was older. Hindsight is always 20/20. We brought this beautiful baby home from the hospital and cared for her for 11 days before the birth-mother decided to take her back from us. Even typing it out to this day causes me cry. In my little kid mind I had thought that I had wished the child away because I didn't want her at first. But she was so beautiful and I mean honestly how could you not look into a smiling baby's face and frown. We finally adopted again and I have my amazing younger sister but something like that leaves an internal mark.
            I started going to public school when I was a sophomore in high school and it was an eye-opening experience. I had my first relationship and well that didn't end so great. Looking back at my first relationship now everything about it seems so petty. I rarely make best friends because girls have been really mean to me my whole life and I have kinda closed myself off to them. I mean I trust up to a point but most of the time I won't show them the more exposed side of myself. I definitely put up walls. My best friend is a guy and he seems to understand me perfectly. He knows when I am feeling bad and when I need cheering up but is really honest with me and tells me when to get my act together, haha. Right now I am fooling myself in saying I don't want a relationship because I really do but with someone that gets me. I also don't really have the time for it (hehe still convincing myself this is a bad time). The weird thing that although I don't have the best track record in choosing guys people still come to me for relationship advice...actually any advice or for me to be a sounding board. Which brings me to the porpoise of this blog.
             If you are still with me then let me tell you that I want to help you if you need help and if you ever need to talk anything out I will provide my email below. I will be there for you internetly, yep new word there, and will help you out.
              I do have this bad habit though of giving a lot of my time and effort into people who don't want help but are 'broken' in some way. They can be immature, commitment-phobes, jealous, angry, spiteful, or all of the above. In my mind I feel that I need to 'fix' them and that they honestly want to be fixed. But I don't pick the ones that want to be 'fixed' I pick the ones that are egotistical and just want to use up my time and emotions. That sounds really spiteful but it is not just a fact. Many of my relationships have been with guys that I thought I could fix or that I thought wanted to be fixed but they don't. Girls usually use me for advice but don't really hang out with me because I tend to hang out with the guys a lot and tend to think that I am slutty or unfriendly. Which to be honest is not the case I just feel that guys judge me a lot less and I feel at ease when I am talking to them versus trying to make 'proper' or 'correct' conversation around women.
              So this blog is my little escape to be a little anonymous which thanks to the internet we can't be anymore so it is my little getaway to help or give advice without being specific to just one person. I genuinely enjoy helping people but when the people I try to help hurt me or turn on me then I feel that there was no use helping them. So this blog is me being shellfish and doling out advice as it comes and getting my 'I-need-to-help-someone fix.'
                So hey if you are still with me and don't think I am a total ass (because I am actually kinda a cool person) and you want some help or advice or just want me to write about something in my blog then email me and I will do it!

EMAIL (for anything): cassmarie20@gmail.com
So that is me in a nutshell. Hope to hear from you!

Stay strong and stay beautiful/handsome!
Claire

Impressed, Depressed, Regress, Progress...?

Hi all,
   A month that's not bad for a new post right? Don't answer that...how are you? Ready for the fall for those here in America? So hope all of you are getting along well. This post is going to be about a few things that have been going through and maybe you have at one point in your life, too. Recently I have been focusing on school and work and getting great grades that I sometimes drown in all of it. I get slightly depressed doing the same things everyday. The thoughts also run through my mind that I wont get anywhere kinda like a hamster in a wheel. The positive thoughts are sometimes hard to keep at the forefront of my mind. I am pretty sure everyone is like that though. So what do you do when you feel this way?
     You have to think about where you are going and what you want to do with your life. If you are like, Claire, I don't know what I am going to do 5 minutes from now nonetheless my life. That is OK unless you are 30 and still living in your mom's basement then you need to sort out your priorities. So take a few minutes and really contemplate about what you want to do. What do you excel at? What do you enjoy doing? If you enjoy gaming why not get into computer graphics or computer science. If you are a people person get into sales or customer service. My grandfather told me that if you enjoy doing something it does not feel like a job it is something you enjoy. So don't try to get into anything you don't truly enjoy because then you will be working and not living your entire life. Getting into what you want helps you live a more healthy life. You don't get depressed or regress to depression.
       So progress into something different. Don't be depressed with where you are now but remember that you are going somewhere. Think about where you want to go and get there. I know it sucks and, maybe you want to regress and be depressed, about the time it will take to get you there but just remember once you get there you can breathe a sigh of relief. You can feel so accomplished and live each day not just go to a job. So progress and impress yourself. You can make it!

Excelsior! Ever Higher!

Liar, Liar Pants on Fire

Hi all,
 
         How are you? This post is not as far away as the others so I hope I am getting the hang of this. No one has commented so I am hoping that 'you' are enjoying this blog. So today is a post about lying which we are all guilty of and if you denied that then congrats you lied. Why is it that humans lie? Why is it that sometimes we want people to lie to us? Most of us have been taught from an early age that lying is bad and it only hurts yourself. So why is it then that when you lie you sometimes feel better about yourself or so you don't end up on the couch (does this make me look fat)?
           Human nature from the very first moment we can talk tells us to lie when faced with a bad situation. Did you take that boy's toy? No I did not, Mommy...when in reality of course you took the toy. The little 2 year old face staring up at you lying like no one's business. Girls, boys, men, women and everyone in between all lie.
            Men lie to women because women want to hear the lie. Men say, "I love you" or "that dress makes you look great" or any number of pickup lines that men try on you. Women crave to hear those things. Men are the same way. The crave to hear women tell them that they want them, that they are the only man for them, and that they were the best ever in the sack. I mean for goodness sakes women lie about the big moment to make men feel better about themselves. We crave the lies.
              Lie to me, lie for me, and lie about me. We lie for other people, too. When we tell the truth and it endangers another's livelihood we call it narking or giving someone away. The lie seems like the more plausible decision then getting your friend or co-worker in trouble. You would be the perpetual pariah in the office or to the rest your friends.
               So if we all lie is it really bad? Lying causes us to mistrust and to second guess what people tell us. The truth although sometimes the harsher reality, I hope you like the couch, is really the better way. It is like trying to build a sandcastle and the waves keep washing it away. The sandcastle represents the relationship you have with other people and the waves the lies you tell. The idea is, is that lying is a cop out. Yea, whenever you get in trouble you immediately C.Y.A by lying. Lying though is never the answer however convenient. So are you a liar, liar, pants on fire?
 
             

Is Someone Getting the Best of You?

Hi all,

         So recently I have been thinking about relationships and the consequences of them. Which I use the word consequence because there are both good and bad things that come from relationships. Usually with me I innately always pick the wrong person. I always seem to pick someone who is broken and somehow I think that I can fix them. Usually I succeed in doing this but when the times come for them to help me with a situation that I am going through then they run to the hills. Which I suppose I understand because I have just helped them get out of their own funk that they run from anything that could ruin that again. The thing is though is that relationships are two sided and just like a coin when you first meet someone you are gambling a bit. You are gambling with something a little more serious than money though. because you can always make more of that, you are gambling with your heart. You put yourself out there for someone you think you really 'like' or 'love' but it turns out that he is not the 'one.' Don't get me wrong I still believe in true love and I believe that there is someone for everyone out there but I think when you first get into a relationship you 'know' deep down inside whether this is going to be the person for you. You know when you look them in the eyes that this person is already far away or in turn so in love with you that nothing distracts him/her.
           I think that innateness within us is something that we have largely turned off. I am not saying every relationship needs to be Cinderella like or good guys always finish first movies but we need to have the thought in the back of our minds to listen to that little voice inside us. People get married and divorced all the time but maybe if they had thought about what the consequences of what that would be they would have reconsidered or even listened to that voice. When you find that there is something wrong with your significant other and you can't quite place what it is then you know it is that voice. If you are reading this somewhere on your wedding day I am not saying for you to run away, no run away brides or grooms please, but I want you to really think and consider is this the person who you want to grow old with? Those vows you are taking they do mean forever. As much as you think that divorce may be an option someday that is a consequence of the relationship; you are just as involved in the relationship in divorce as you are married. Whether you have kids or not. 
              Like I said I am not advocating a fairy tale adventure with singing mice and chirping birds because some of the best times in the relationship can also be some of the lowest points. Take for an example my parents: they were living in England on practically nothing but as they talk about it now they laugh and look back on it fondly as hard as it was at the time.
              My mom as I said in previous posts has just lost her best friend and lost her father a few months ago. She is hurting in every way imaginable. Two years ago she almost died from a rare disease and her best friend was there for her everyday and that is not an exaggeration she was literally there everyday. My mom is at the end of her rope with grief and she just wants to leave where we are currently living. My family is worried about her and my father told me that he would do whatever it takes to make sure she is healthy and happy. He stated that he was married to her and that meant taking care of her til the end of her or his days. That might seem a little extreme to you but after 30 years of marriage my dad still loves her as much as when they were first dating.
              Sorry ladies my dad is taken but that is what I am talking about. My dad would do anything for my mom and innately my mother always knew that he was the right one for her. Men yes it does work both ways. Although women may not always make you that sandwich, in hard times women are just as much there to help you, as you are to help them.
             These are just some of the consequences of a relationship. So please consider and be considerate of whom you open yourself up to. Don't squish that voice inside of your head because people tell you 'you won't find anyone better,' 'he/she is amazing you are lucky to have them,' and
'they are a good match because of lame excuse XYZ.' You deserve someone that makes you truly happy. Someone that won't take you for granted or only be there when they have a problem. You deserve your soul mate so please listen to that innate voice inside you.

This has been a PSA from
Claire
Haha just kidding.
P.S. title is Dave Grohl/Foo Fighters reference because he is amazing.

The Sound of Silence

Hi all!
      Forgot to shamelessly promote myself if you want to tweet me it is @ClaireCassidy15 on twitter. 
          So this post unlike my others that are a little heavy is just a general post about music and the effects it has on you. My mom got me thinking about this the other day when she played this binural beat thing for my dad and I. If you don't know what it is I will post a link to one at the end so you can see if you enjoy it or not. My dad immediately walked out of the room because he hates things like that and while I enjoyed it for about all of 5 seconds trying to decipher it I was not a fan. My mother said she was reading about different frequencies that people enjoy and that is why we like certain kinds of music. I could see where she is coming from but I enjoy lots of different genres and lots of different artists. So what is your music? Here are a couple things on my Ipod:


The Beatles: I am the Walrus and Yesterday
Beyonce: Deja Vu
Imagine Dragons: Radioactive
Glee: Heads Will Roll/Thriller
Lana Del Rey: Young and Beautiful and Born to Die
Florence and the Machine: Sweet Nothing and Spectrum
Drake: F***ing Problems
System of A Down: BYOB
Adele: Skyfall
Kernkraft 4000: Zombie Nation Sports Chant (yep this is the one they play at b-ball games)
Missy Elliott: Lose Control
Utada Hikaru: Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence

So although some of these could be considered the same genre they are all vastly different. I also feel that I can't sit in silence I have to always be listening to music. Although researchers have suggested that meditating can help improve brain function. Also that music can influence your mood which I consider to be very true. I always want to listen to fast music while running...ok jogging briskly....but when I am studying it's Classical music all the way. Also I change music depending on what type of mood I am in. Music is pretty influential so please don't let your 9 year old listen to Lil Wayne which can hardly be considered music but can also influence their mood and I for one do not want a 9 year old to come up ask you what half those words mean because good luck explaining that. I think music is innate. It besides math (the two are closely related) are the only forms of communication that are know worldwide and according to Close Encounters of the Third Kind is universal. Although I would appreciate more than an electric piano to play on...
What kind of music do you listen to? Best songs of all time?

Til Next Time
Claire

binaural beats for your meditating pleasure or hell...

Also is this the best song of all time?...hehe just kidding

The Real Reason for Friends

Hi all!

        I know two posts in one day! Claire, what is this? I guess since I have not written in a while I have a lot I want to throw out there to the universe. This post will be both sad and happy so get out those tissues and play that happy song you love listening to. Personally for me right now it is Sweater Weather by the Neighbourhood.
          So I have previously posted on mortality and death in general but this post is a combination of that and the reason for friends. Recently my grandfather passed away, who was an amazing man and patriarch of that side of the family. He is greatly missed by my family with my grandmother in particular, of course. Death seems to bring out the good and bad in people. We see or sometimes do not see an ending to someone's life. What I mean by that is that my grandfather was always a very strong man and seemed bigger than life. Many of the family members seemed to not realize that he was slowly dying since he had always been full of piss and vinegar. He made it through WWII at the age of 14 after being sent to a Japanese concentration camp in China. He carried his family through good times and bad times and was always there for advice. When he passed many of my family members seemed surprised and shocked that it happened. He had congestive heart failure and honestly it was IF it was WHEN. After he passed we gathered together to mourn for him all in our own ways but it is after, when you grieve, that this is an important time for friends and family.
          Also a couple days ago my mother's best friend passed away. She was killed instantly in a head on collision along with one of her son's friends in the back seat. My mother fell to pieces and cried for most of the night while I watched and listened. It was more painful to me to see my mother like that then the news of her friend although I did cry like a baby when I first heard the news. The next day her friends arrived to take care of her. It was seeing her there in her bed sobbing uncontrollably while her friends comforted her that I really understood what friends were for. They are there to help you both in good times and in bad.
             You see I very rarely make true friends because I do not like getting close to people. I feel that if I show them what I am really like that they will run to the hills. Also like I have said before I like helping people so I seem to attract people who I give my time and effort to help and when I need the help they are not there. Anyways this is not a sob story just an observation of what happens. Here is what I wrote about friends:
      The fragility of life is displayed to us on a daily basis. The continuous cycle of living and dying is part of who we are. Some of man's biggest fears is growing old or aging because that is when people come to the realization of how precious life truly is. What about those that do not age? The children who were taken in the first moments of life, the children who only first began to live, the mother who made time to take care of those children, the father working to ensure his children's lives would be better than his own? These people
are the deaths that make old age seem almost menial. Life is a series of connections. Connections with the people around us, the people at the grocery store, the person who makes your coffee, your best friend, your lover, your son, your daughter, your mother, your brother, your father, your sister; these are the connections that are made everyday and almost like a web we become more entangled in them. We become closer and we share our fragile lives with our connections. The people who wake us up everyday, who make us smile, who make the world a more beautiful place, who we share our secrets with. When one of those connections is lost we loose our footing in that web. We lose part of what holds us together. We realize at whatever age we are at that; that life is fragile and that picking up the pieces of the web is harder than what we had imagined it would be. Trying to mend that beautiful web by yourself is almost impossible and although it hurts to think about losing more connections and also creating new ones who you might lose; those connections are what helps you repair your web. Those connections: your family, your friends, your people: they help you get through the cycle of life. So when you push them away you are hurting yourself and those tiny tendrils that holds your heart together. The grief that is earth-shattering and seems almost like a sickness soothes over time with the help of these people. When your world comes crashing down, and you are at the lowest place imaginable, these people feel that and rush to help you; because in turn their heart is hurting too for you and your grief becomes their grief. They are there to hold you in times of need and laugh in times of happiness. They are there to encourage you to make the right connections and discourage those that would harm you. They are there to embrace you when your sobs rack your body and you hurt from the inside out. These people, these connections, they are part of the cycle of living and dying. Fragile as life may be you are never
alone. Life is truly precious so spend it with the connections that make you, you. The connections worth living and dying for. The people who make old age seem like an adventure and who gives life meaning. Life not lived to its fullest potential is the most fragile life of all.
            These seemingly fragile connections are really what keeps us going. Think of your heart suspended in a web of these connections. If one breaks although devastating there are other connections to keep you going and to help mend that broken connection. One of my friend's when his mother died told me that he wanted to keep people at bay because he was afraid of people dying and it hurting so much. He started to self-sabotage some of the relationships he once held so dear. He stopped talking to people that mattered to him and grew distant from those he loved. He grew so fearful that these connections as they were lost would hurt and destroy his heart more and more. In doing this he actually hurt those connections that loved and cared for him. He made them fear that they had slighted him in some way. He feared that which he could not prevent and tried to prevent that from ever happening again.
             So growing distant from people does not help anyone. Self- harm whether physical or emotional does not hurt just you but those connections that are close to you. Emotional suicide is just as selfish as physical suicide is. The purpose of friendship of these connections is to HELP you and to be there for you and for you to be there for others. Friendship to a two-way street and we as humans crave friendship.
           
 Heavy stuff I know and I apologize but these are things relevant to everyday life. If you ever need anything or have any questions remember you can always email me! The one below is the best email to reach me at:

cassmarie20@gmail.com

More to come later.
Remember: Life not lived to its fullest potential is the most fragile life of all.

Insane in the Membrane!

Hi all!

     So I know I have not written very much lately or at all it seems but I am going to post a couple posts here today so I can explain why! This post though is about something that I learned from my Intro to Anatomy and Physiology class. My teacher, Matt, one of the best teachers I have ever had, gave us this extra credit assignment, an article (which I will link at the end) about human progenitor glial cells in murine brains. You are looking at me like WHAT? That's right I am going to break it down for you.
       The article which took me forever to interpret and when I finally did made me excited! Basically the article is talking about an experiment a group of scientists did on mice. They injected human brain cells into mice brains. First of all I am sorry if you are against researching on animals but when you see the results of what happened I hope you will forgive me for posting this. Secondly this is insane right, I mean why would you even think to do that? Anyways, the scientists discovered that the human astrocytes (brain cells) took over the mice brains. Instead of a splitting of the brain between mice and human astrocytes the human cells made up the majority of the astrocytes inside the mouse brain. Interesting huh? That is not all! The chimeran mice (mice with human brain cells) turned out to be more intelligent and to learn at a faster rate than regular mice. They did multiple tests with mazes, fear, and bait to discover that these chimeran mice were highly intelligent.
       You are like ok, Claire, that is great but what is so cool about this? The chimeran mice were more intelligent without any nasty side effects that sometimes humans develop. These nasty effects could include ALS, Parkinson's, Alzheimer's, brain lesions, strokes, tumors etc. This is truly amazing! The chemical linked to these diseases was within reasonable levels in the mice and was not produced in excess ever. The chemical which is usually linked to these diseases did not increase or compensate after being engrafted into the mouse brain. That means that these mice will never have to deal with those diseases and actually the grey matter inside the brain was increased. Grey matter refers to the part of the brain where we make memories and learn or so scientists think.
        So I can see you coming up to your own conclusions and yes you are correct! This means that a cure or prevention for this diseases are not just a possibility but will one day (with enough funding) be a reality. Learning disabilities such as ADD, ADHD, dyslexia and others would also benefit from this research. It is astounding to think that we are not decades (hopefully) away from a cure but years away from a cure. This to me is amazing and simply wonderful.
Here is the link http://www.cell.com/cell-stem-cell/abstract/S1934-5909(13)00007-6. Also good luck trying to understand it if you are not into neuroscience but Google is your friend.
Claire