Sorry I have not posted in a while it has been a really bumpy road and has led me to beautiful Franklin, Tennessee which is just outside of Nashville. I am happy to be here but it has already been hard because i don't know anyone besides my family here so I find myself a little lonely. Also more than a little broke due to the move and moving into a new place so that kinda compounds it. Although lonely it has given me time to think about things which can sometimes be good or bad.
You see when I am depressed I tend to think about all the bad things that I have done and wonder what when wrong and how I could have prevented them. Hindsight is always 20/20. So I am really trying to get out of that mentality. What I do is meditate during these "depressed" moods because meditating is really a clearing of the mind. Also it is proven that people who meditate, at least 10 minutes a day, have more brain wave activities than those who do not. I am not a very mystical person so I am not chanting "ommmmmm" or anything like that but I put on very low classical music and just think 'smile.' I do that because when I get done meditating it seems like I am in a happier place.
Another thing I have been doing is painting. I am not a great painter but I have highly enjoyed doing it because it lets me again let my mind wander and allows me to paint my emotions. When I am depressed it helps me to use that to use dark colors and eventually I am really enjoying myself and I start to use light colors.
I guess what I am trying to not so eloquently put into words is that although my depression gets so bad sometimes I just want to curl up and never leave my room. I try to do things that allows me to normally go on with my life. I do not take medicine because it is not all the time and I am surrounding myself with people whether its in a mall or even at a bookstore. I try to take the small things that are happy and make them the highlight of my day. Painting a picture, reading an amazing book, or even listening to Iggy Azalea's Fancy makes me a little happy and if I can hold onto that then so can you awesome reader. Here are a couple of my paintings, which reminds me, I often give my paintings away because I rather someone else try to get some joy out of them than me (also I go on painting streaks and paint like 2 a night and my room would end up just being a shrine of my emotional roller coaster haha).
Arbor Vitae meaning Tree of Life
