Wow I know it has been a long time but I have been crazy busy from work and moving. I officially live in Nashville, Tn now moving here to be closer to family. I love it here so far and if anyone reads this leave me some suggestions as to where I should go here. Now onto the heavy stuff!
So this topic is a little near and dear to my heart. It is about addiction, in all of its forms, be it drinking, drugs, sex and the one closest to me is love (or lack thereof). So you are probably thinking Claire what in the heck, love is something you feel with another person not something that can be addicting. Oh no my friends, love is sometimes just as bad as any drug. The brain when in love or having sex releases the chemical oxytocin which controls sexual arousal, trust, depression relief, and bond pairing with a partner. It is good for many of the all intensive purposes but this is why as humans it is very hard to be friends with benefits or have NSA relationships. Oxytocin combined with dopamine and norepinephrine are the combo to a happy and healthy relationship but the thing is these chemicals are all combined with sex, you see the dilemma? So in the movies that came out a couple years ago called No Strings Attached with Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman they eventually fall in love and everyone goes awwwww....Well the fact is that as charming as Ashton Kutcher is and as much as Natalie Portman didn't want a relationship the chemicals coursing through their body automatically made them closer since the first time they had sex making it almost inevitable that they would get together, especially since they 'did it' everywhere. So here is a warning to you whoever you are that casual sex is never just casual in the end you have a literal chemical reaction that make it feel good and connect you with that person. So why do you seek out sex? Is it because it feels good or is it another reason? Is it to find love? Why is it that people do things for love? Why do they have a burning need to be with the ones who treat them badly or are just not good for them? We can not blame it all on the chemicals we also can find fault with the people themselves.
People as a whole a very social beings. I know that even me who likes to sit and home and not do anything on my days off still feel the need to be in crowds or go to read at the bookstore not because I need to but because I feel the need for human interaction. I also crave love like many of the people on this planet and hope one day to find someone who completes me. So what drives me and others to seek out people that I know are not good for me and try to fall in love with them and get them to love me? It is that sense of needing someone and the fear that I may be alone for the rest of my life. (partly for me anyways). I do not have a lot of self confidence; but when I am with someone that I 'love' I know that even with a lack of believing in myself I have someone to believe in me for me. Someone is always there for me and to look after me. That person is protection, a lover, friend, believer, and trustful in everything I do. They also challenge me and let me know I can do better. So falling in love gives us a sense of completion and even though sometimes we find someone who WE think fits that mark, we need to listen to our friends and family because we can have a skewed vision when it comes to them. Love it a very double edged sword and we need to learn to not be in love for the sake of being in love but to find that one person who encompasses what we need. Don't settle, don't compromise, and if you are in a relationship that is unhealthy tell someone because that is not love. 'Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is NOT self-seeking, it is NOT easily angered, it keeps NO record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails.'
Hope this is encouraging to you. As always you can reach me at my email address cassmarie16@yahoo.com or feel free to add me on twitter
